It's OK to Give Your Husband Space

Ladies, It’s Okay To Give Your Husband Some Space

God whispered to me, “Give your husband space.”. I was confused.

My husband and I had a huge problem to deal with. It was big enough to possibly impact the future of our marriage.

I had watched enough tv shows, Hollywood movies and read marriage counselling books to know, if there was a problem, it needed to be addressed.  Discussed and sifted through so we could begin to find a way forward.

God whispered again, “Give him space.”

Why was God saying this to me?

In hindsight, I think I know why.

Let me paint a bit of a picture.

Remember that book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? The title in itself explains that the male and female species are different.

We think differently, we feel differently, we process things differently.  We can have different perspectives.

I know you know what I am talking about!

I like to think that my husband and I are both relatively smart and bright people.  We both know how to lead, manage, problem solve and complete tasks.  Both of our jobs demand this from us each day and we both do really well at our jobs.

So, why, when we come to moving furniture around the house can we just not seem to make it work?

Both of our methods for moving the cupboard from one to another are workable.  There is nothing wrong with either method.  However, as we come together we are both thinking about our own method and for the life of us can’t see why someone would do it any other way.

(I would like to point out we have since learned this about each other and our furniture moving days work a lot easier than they used to!)

The problem we were dealing with was more serious than moving furniture and I was anxious to have it sorted so I knew we would be ok.

My emotions were raw and I was leading from them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that sometimes. Except God was telling me not to on this day.

It's OK to Give Your Husband Sapce

On this day, God knew all the ins and outs of both of us.  He knew about my raw emotions and my intense desire to solve the problem.  He also knew the deep thoughts going on with my husband.  He knew the load each of us was carrying and He knew the best thing for both of us was for me to give my husband space.

It seemed to defy all the logical marriage advice I had ever heard.

I have to tell you when God said to give my husband space, I thought it might be for an afternoon – a couple of days max.

The space lasted about three months.

We carried on as best as we could.  We went to our jobs each day, we socialised with friends on the weekend. We even went on two holidays.  We just didn’t address the elephant in the room. Every time I thought it might be a good time to bring it up, God told me otherwise.

To me, it made no sense.  I didn’t want this to be something we swept under the rug that might fester, grow and later destroy us.

Sweet friend, let me tell you this in full confidence.  If God is giving you an instruction then listen to it and follow it with all of your heart.  Even if you do not understand why.

That three months taught me a lot.

It taught me how to love greater even when there is mess. To love regardless of the mess.  To embrace the messiness of each other and love love love anyway.

It's Ok To Give Your Husband Space

Isn’t that what Jesus does for us? He loves us messiness and all.

I won’t ever fully know what went on in my husband’s mind and heart during that time.  I do know, that when it was the time to deal with the mess it was on God’s time schedule and there is no better schedule to be on.

Ladies, I don’t know if you are going through some messy things in your marriage.  Maybe you feel like marching in and tidying everything up.  I know what that feels like.  I feel that if I take control and get everything sorted out everything will be ok.  I know it is hard when you face the possibility of you relationship breaking down.

I do not know your exact situation, but I do know that if you pour your heart out to God He will direct your steps.  If you hear him say to give your husband space, then trust God and do what He says.  There is no better way.

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About Megan

Megan, is a wife and mum living in Western Australia. She holds a Bachelor of Education in Primary teaching and teaches as a music specialist. Her passion is Jesus and her love for writing about Him and for Him took her by surprise. She is author of My Faith Tree where she shares her faith and encourages readers to live faithfully following Jesus and seek to leave a legacy of faith for generations to come. You can follow her on the social media platforms listed below.

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